While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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