plz talk dirty to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
