I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
