Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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