I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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