he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
