ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

  Fav 18 2878 1124

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

  Fav 15 1087 2349

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Toronto

  9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.

  Fav 17 1026 5463

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...

  Fav 21 2237 7908

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.

  Fav 10 5108 1131

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

  Fav 9 4274 1069

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now

  Fav 7 2299 755

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.

  Fav 10 1705 800

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.

  Fav 2 1065 743

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

  Fav 2 530 940

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society

  Fav 1 732 482

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?

  Fav 2 549 383

  share tweet
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire

  Fav 1 602 501

  share tweet
  

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat

  Fav 0 40 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me

  Fav 0 22 39

  share tweet
  

Randomize