Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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