dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
