Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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