Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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