You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
