You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
