it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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