He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
