ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
