Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It was confusing and full of hummus
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
