why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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