I love black thongs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We are two peas in an std pod
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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