but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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