Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
