You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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