508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
