You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i believe in u and ur pee
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
