He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
