Its about making memories worth repressing
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
