Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
