we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
