im having a threesome with these popsicles
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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