I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
jump out the window naked night went bad
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
