someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize