please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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