so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
