if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
