WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sobbing to NWA
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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