He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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