He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
