What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
