I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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