he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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