Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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