I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
