exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
