More tranny stories later!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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