im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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