i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
