I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize