At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
