Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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