chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We had to coat check the pizza.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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