Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
