the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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