i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize