Someone shit on the floor
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
