I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
