I just pynch a tree in the face
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I enjoy the company of your penis
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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