The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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