He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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