im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
